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About Varied / Hobbyist AlexandraFemale/Hong Kong Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Letter to the guy that I like who has a girlfriend
To the guy that I like who has a girlfriend,
Recently I heard from others that you have a girlfriend... I don't know if that's true or not but it really saddens and disappoints me...... I wish I could be that lucky girl......
I'm really so glad that I finally got to meet you and talk with you... I will never forget that day......
It's so unfair... Why didn't I meet you sooner..?
Nevertheless, I'm still really glad that I met you... I don't ask for you to like me back... All I want is your friendship...... At least I could have some sort of relationship with you......
And if you two ever do breakup, perhaps I might have a chance..?
However, I noticed you being cold towards me and not replying to my message... I guess it's understandable... Perhaps you didn't want your girlfriend to misunderstand...... Or perhaps you know about my feelings for you..? But I don't think there's anything wrong with liking someone... So please stop avoiding me and try to be the friendly self you used to be w
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Today I saw you alone by yourself.
I really wanted to talk with you...
I kept looking at you, but you didn't notice me...
All you did was just walk pass me, as if I were glass, transparent in your eyes.
I had the urge to say hi, but couldn't build up the courage to do so...
All I could do was to watch you slowly walk away from me......
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Seeing you again
You'll never know how long I have been looking forward to see you, and even if you do, you wouldn't care. I was happy when I finally get to see you again after such a long time. However, when I arrived home, I find myself crying. It seems like I am still interested in you and can't forget you. For some reason, you remain unforgettable... I don't know why I'm so loyal to you, even though you don't deserve it at all... I wanted you to notice me, to find me attractive... I find myself looking at you at times and looking for you when I was unable to locate you... When I noticed you look at me and our eyes met, your eyes immediately darted away. We didn't talk much at all......
When I received your Whatsapp message, I was immediately anxious. There was a weird feeling inside me and I felt like I wasn't ready. I was nervous...... When I was standing at the staircase using my phone while keeping an eye on you from the corner of my eye, I think you were doing something weird and when I heard s
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The curse
Even though he has already completely walked out my life, I don't know why but I keep trying to bring him back into my life. I find myself stalking him on Facebook, checking for his updates and pictures or looking at his Whatsapp profile picture. Occasionally I find myself asking about him through people he knows.
He's not attractive, I admit. But there's something about him that draws me in. There's some kind of charm surrounding him that I can't stop being attracted to him. He's like a drug that I keep coming back for more. He's like a curse that I can never break.
Even though I don't get to see him at all nowadays, I still find myself thinking of him. Part of me wants to keep in touch with him, but then part of me doesn't want to get hurt again. Perhaps I was hoping that maybe after a few years he would return my feelings, but it's that false hope that makes me keep coming back.
I was insanely, madly in love with him. Even now, I can't seem to find anyone who could make me have the
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Weird feelings
Today when I saw you out of the blue, my heart stopped. I didn't expect to see you. I couldn't be myself. I was nervous. I didn't dare look you straight in the eyes. This feeling was weird, something I have never experienced.
I find myself glancing over at your direction every now and then. My eyes kept darting towards you. What is this feeling? Have I fallen for you? You were with a few girls and I can't help but to feel uneased. But why?
You called my name with a grin. I was slightly shocked. I gave you a brief smile and a nod...
After that, you came over to my table, talked with a girl, then had to leave. You said goodbye to her and me. I only waved without looking at you.
The second time, I saw you again. You were leaving. I said "Hey", you said, "Hi, bye." I looked back at you as I was walking, but you had your back on me, walking away...
I miss you... I think......
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Removing people from my life
People will always come and go. Although some seem to get along pretty well with you, they may just be passerbys.
Today, I've decided to remove some people from my life. Although it's sad, I'm sorry to say this is how life is. Some people may seem important to you at first, but as time goes by, the connection will fade away, and soon that person will be history. He will never be part of your life.
I started removing all the conversations we had, and unfriended you on every site with you in it. I removed your number. I haven't removed the pictures we took together though, which I won't delete, but will keep them away from my sight. But there's one thing that I, sadly, can't remove. That is the memories we shared together. They will always be buried deep inside my head, never forgotten.
Sometimes that's one thing I like about myself. But then again, it's also something that I hate about myself, as I will never be able to erase those memories and think of you at random times. Then, I'll p
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The guy wearing a mask
Today I finally received a message from you after a few days, and probably the last message I'll ever receive from you.. All this time you've been wearing a mask, and all this time I've been cheated by you... I used to think that you were "real", but I guess your mask has been worn so long that it's stuck to your face... I used to think we had some kind of connection, that you're the only guy who I found easy to get along with, but it turns out that all this time I was wrong. I'm so pathetic... I thought that if I'm true to someone, then maybe they will be true to me... I've never worn a mask all my life... I just build bigger and stronger walls... I've always been true to everyone, but I guess the world doesn't work this way......
I don't think I deserve this at all. YOU don't deserve me at all... I've always been true to you, but because of your stupid trust issues and loner personality, you missed out. Your loss.
Just when I think that I'm a loner and prefer being alone, you are eve
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Just a little crush... Maybe?
Lately, I have been dreaming of you. In fact, I have been dreaming of you for several times already. I wonder why? I wonder, if you have dreams of me as well? But that's quite impossible... Why would you dream of me anyway? This "feeling" I have for you is probably just one-sided. Besides, I don't even know if I feel that way for you...
At times, I feel like I'm attracted to you. However, at times I just treat you as a friend and can't think of you as a man. Anyway, you're younger than me. Even if I didn't mind that difference, you would probably mind. You will probably only treat me as an older sister and nothing more.
Nevertheless, in those dreams I had of you, we were doing intimate things together... You put your arms around my shoulder, I rested my head on your shoulder......
Lately, I have been hoping to run into you. I even checked your timetable to see where you will have your lesson and looked into that classroom sneakily. I couldn't see you though...
I have been readin
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Rainbow boy celebrating Christmas by sandra1328 Rainbow boy celebrating Christmas :iconsandra1328:sandra1328 1 0
As I stay at home, totally oblivious to the world around me,
I have a feeling that the world is falling apart.
I turned on the news and saw protests and fighting everywhere.
I switched it off, unable to accept all these negativity.
I closed my eyes and can only wish that God will make this all stop...
Please, my dear Lord, restore peace and happiness...
My heart is breaking from all these.
Doesn't yours too?
:iconsandra1328:sandra1328 0 0
Goodbye Forever
I guess we will never be friends ever..
You never liked me and it has always been one-sided..
I really shouldn't cry but these tears kept falling down...
I was never your friend and never important in your eyes..
I feel insignificant.
You were the guy that I once found easy to get along with,
but now even you became difficult..
I'm so useless..
Why must my emotions get in the way?
I'm sorry.
I will never get in your way again.
I apologize for ever bothering you.
I will always regret not being able to be your friend.
But you probably wouldn't care anyway.
I'm unimportant to you.
Goodbye forever.
:iconsandra1328:sandra1328 0 0
Instant Attraction
Dear God, why do you toy with my emotions?
Why do you let me see what I can't have?
When his eyes met mine, I was melting inside... My heart skips a beat.
His blue eyes are so beautiful, so powerful, so magical...
It was only one station and it was instant attraction.
When my station came, I didn't want to get off... I wanted to stay, to admire him...
But I left nevertheless... It's probably pointless...
Why look at someone that I can't have?
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Harmless little crush
I think I'm head over heels over someone impossible...
I have fallen for a man many years older than me...
Although he is not attractive, has a lot of white hair and even has a wife, I'm somehow attracted to him.
His kindness has moved my heart and now I can't stop thinking of him.
I'm pretty sure that he's kind to basically everyone, but for some reason, I feel very special..
I thought it was just a harmless little crush, but it seems that I'm getting more and more crazy over him..
What is wrong with me? He's totally off limits!!
And I will soon leave this place because of the end of my internship..
I feel like I can't stop seeing him and won't be able to keep him off my mind...
I want to be able to keep in touch with him even after my internship..
I want to see him...
:iconsandra1328:sandra1328 0 0
The Last of Us
It's over. We lost. I remember the day when they arrived, and we kept praying that this war would be over. Well, the war is over, but we are the ones who lost.
I remember watching all the people I knew die one by one. They were slaughtered, oh, so brutally. I couldn't do anything but watch and run away. I couldn't save them. But the worst part is watching my loved ones die, protecting us. They sacrificed themselves for us. I wanted to cry, but there was no time to do so. We had to escape from them.
I thought there was a limit to how many dead people a person would see in one's life. I guess I have passed the limit.
I've seen many people die by their hands... And I've also seen people end their own lives. I wonder which is worse, being killed by them or losing all hope and decided to end it all. But I guess what's even worse is having to watch all people you cared for die before your eyes, being able to escape from them knowing you're probably the last
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The girl in the mirror
When I look in the mirror, I see a sad girl with an unfortunate past.
Behind her smile, she hides her unhappiness and all her insecurities.
She is a girl with stories to tell, yet, no one would care if she tells them.
There is a girl inside, trying to break free from this shell.
When she smiles, there is sadness in her eyes.
Sometimes she seems very distant, deep in thought, and she has that upset look only for a brief moment, before snapping back into reality, and back to her wearing a smile.
She is wearing a mask all these times, trying to hide the tragic incidents in the past of her being bullied, manipulated, criticized, rejected, neglected, looked down upon...
Others may think she may be weak and fragile after all these upsetting encounters, however, I see a strong, independent girl, being able to withstand all these happenings in her life.
A tough girl who is trying to forgive, forget and let go of the past, and move on without ever looking back.
This is what I see from the girl
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 The worst part about me liking someone is that I couldn't do anything about it because I'm afraid of being rejected.
 All I could do was just watch him from a distance. This distance makes me feel safe, yet at the same time, insecure.
 Our age differences, even though just a few months, is an issue to me. Also, you're very tall...
 I feel like there is no way of me getting closer to you. You are always surrounded by your friends... and they wouldn't try to get to know me. But then again, I could take the initiative. However, I feel like they won't accept me if we got together, which is already a challenge.
 I don't know why I still like you even though you used me. Perhaps it's your appearance that draws me in. I never truly got to know you even though I tried.
 I think your age, height, friends and me afraid of being rejected, are what caused this distance...
:iconsandra1328:sandra1328 0 1


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Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Hong Kong
Hello everyone! I am Alexandra, but you can just call me Sandra.
I have always loved drawing and taking photographs.
I hope to find a job that involves creativity.

Premium membership!! ^^

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 10:52 AM
  • Listening to: Hole To Feed-Depeche Mode
  • Drinking: Tea

I'm so happy! I have always wanted to try to be a premium member and today an anonymous deviant gave it to me! I wish I knew who that was so I could thank that person personally!!
It's only for four weeks but I'll cherish this four weeks.
I'm currently trying out some new features like polls and journal skins. It's really fun!! > <"
I think I'm going to miss being a premium member after four weeks.. But for now, I will explore the features of being a premium member!!

* For the person who gave me a premium membership, thank you very much!! It really means a lot to me!! I am very thankful for this! >3<"

Journal History


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FrodoK Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2016  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you very much. Regards :)
amsin-indigoswallow Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Student General Artist
Thank you for the fav:)
kei-chan3508 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the favorite! <3 I love reading your fictions and it's a pleasure to meet you Alexandra ^-^ Oh and hope you enjoy your premium membership! Neko Emoji-37 (Yay) [V2] 
J-amesT Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2016
Thanks+fav Love I am a dummy! 
FrodoK Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you :)
TheKatherynn Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2015
Thank you for the fave!
Mamottshuu Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav. black heart bullet light pink heart bullet 
AwkwardGeon Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2015  Hobbyist Filmographer
thanks for faving:) (Smile) 
gamerandartist35 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Student Artist
感謝您的最愛和我沒有學講中國我只是在開玩笑XD ,如果詩歌的作家採取了一些我做,如果你說他們是一些錯誤的語法和一些東西不要“詩歌的樣子告訴我我已經知道 and if this message is wrong sorry hehehe…
sandra1328 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Excuse me, but what the hell were you talking about? o.O I had to Google translate your message to understand it a little bit more.. But I still don't understand what you're trying to say. Please just use English, thank you.
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